Anything You Want to Do

Hello, I hope that you’re doing well this Spring! You’re certainly doing better than the Mets.

As some of you may know, I’ve done the occasional comedy set this past year. It’s been a lot of fun. I did a quick five minutes in front of Dave Chappelle at his club in Ohio – it helps to know the boss – and in Raleigh and SF, and also at a couple Asian American comedy fests in New York and Los Angeles.

In Ohio, the crowd had approximately zero Asians in it. I opened, “Hello all, I ran for President! Did any of you support me?” Weak applause. “Well thanks! And to the rest of you, fuck you. Fuck you all. Magical Asian man from the future comes to give you money, and you’re like, ‘I’m not so sure about this guy.’ Congratulations, you’re why we’re all still poor.” I figured most people wouldn’t really know who I was.

In New York and LA, it was probably 80% Asian. I would go a little more insider-y and assume familiarity; I’d talk about my parents trying to talk me out of running for President, being a Dad and more personal stuff.

Back in 2020, during one of the presidential debates, I joked, “I’m Asian, so I know a lot of doctors,” to a healthcare question. I took a little bit of shit for that. Some said I played into Asian stereotypes.

You know what didn’t reinforce any Asian stereotypes? Running for President. I kind of thought that part would be obvious.

After the campaign, I was in Alabama for a charity event. A Southern gentleman in a business suit came up to me and extended his hand. “Mr. Yang, I don’t agree with you on a whole lot sir, but you’ve got a set of balls on you, and I respect that a great deal.” We shook hands.

I put my hand on his shoulder and said “Thank you. Just doing what I can for the country.”

I was at a nightclub a few months later, and a group of Asian guys freaked out when they saw me. One of them put his arm around me and started exclaiming to his friends, “See this guy? This guy fucks! He definitely fucks!!!” They offered to buy me drinks all night. I took a couple pictures and high-fived them before taking off.

I read a book by Jay Caspian Kang called “The Loneliest Americans” about Asian Americans. One of the main ideas was that no one cares about Asian American identity, and the author described the tension of writing a book that argues no one cares about the subject. It made me laugh, but it also felt familiar.

There’s a stereotype of an “Angry Asian Man” who goes to the gym, listens to hip-hop and is alienated, cursing to himself as he curls weights. I certainly resembled that in my twenties, before I met Evelyn.

Have I been mistaken for a delivery guy by a Manhattan doorman because I was carrying a plastic bag? Sure. Some teenagers yelled “Ching Chong” at me from a car window in New England a few years back, and I found myself more confused and saddened by it than anything else.

I know that the doors of this country are wide open to me in a way that they aren’t for most Americans. I can walk into a TV studio or a tech conference or to the entrance of a nightclub and the seas part. I started a political party and a wireless company that saves people money and gets them off their screen a bit more. Who gets to do these things?

The country I grew up in told me I could do anything regardless of my background or where I came from. I believed it. I still do, even though it’s becoming less true for more and more of our young people. Maybe we can do something about that.

Some of the above is excerpted from my recent book “Hey Yang, Where’s My Thousand Bucks?” which you can buy here with the code “UBIUBI” for 25% off or wherever books are sold. I interview YouTuber and occasional comedian Andrew Fung on the podcast this week. Go to noblemobile.com/yang for 3 months off your wireless bill, the best deal around that will also reduce your screen time and help you save for your family, and email matt@noblemobile.com if you want a human. Go outside and look up.