“Hey Yang, Where’s My Thousand Bucks?”

Hello, I’ve got a medium-sized announcement! I have a new book coming out on February 3^rd called, “Hey Yang, Where’s My Thousand Bucks? And Other True Stories of Staggering Depth.” Yes, for real. It’s a humorous inside account of my personal journey, starting at the beginning and going through the last several years to today.

I wrote this book for a few reasons. First, I wanted to share my experiences with those who have supported me since the presidential campaign – like you! We’ve been through a lot, and a ton has happened behind-the-scenes. What was it like backstage? Is there a person there? I intend this book as a “Thank You” and a love letter to all who have made ‘Andrew Yang’ a thing.

Second, I thought that people might enjoy some levity in a tough time. Humor is often the best way to escape. The alternate title was, “Hey, am I racist, or are you Andrew Yang?” which yes, I’ve been asked.

Third, it’s a bit of therapy for me. A little self-indulgent, but I understand things better if I write them down. If I tell some of the stories of the past number of years maybe we can enjoy them together and have a better spirit.

Last, I like to stay creative and productive. There was a book inside me, and now it’s outside of me.

The book is now available for pre-sale and I hope you consider buying a copy! Use code UBIUBI for 25% off. It will make a great gift.

Here is an adapted excerpt:

Visiting Chappelle

“Hey Yang, you coming to summer camp or what?” I got that message from a friend in late June.

The summer camp he was referring to was Chappelle Summer Camp, which began in 2020 when Dave started a comedy show in a cornfield in Yellow Springs, Ohio during Covid. That summer, Michelle Wolf, Kevin Hart and many others were guests because it was the only place you could perform live comedy in the country during lockdown. It felt like the center of the world. Dave invited me that first year and I’ve been back multiple times, so now I’ve become something of a familiar figure in town. Chappelle Summer Camp has taken on a life of its own and thousands go each year. If you’re a comedy fan, I highly recommend it.

Dave refurbished a local firehouse into a club called the YS Firehouse. He joked, “I spend my money buying up old buildings in this town and making them nice. If I were white, you’d call it gentrification. But because I’m black . . . there’s no word for what I’m doing.”

The first couple summers I went, I would just hang out backstage with Dave and his crew. It was a thrill just to be there. But then last summer, I asked Dave if I could get on stage, in part because it seemed lame to be hanging out with the greatest comedian of all time and not do anything. Dave was very encouraging. Dave introduced me saying, “Here’s the guy who got everything right in 2020, but no one listened because he’s Asian, Andrew Yang!”

I came out to a tepid response and said, “Hello Ohio! How are you all doing? Yes, I did run for President. Any of you support me?”

Some scattered applause.

“Well thank you. For the rest of you, fuck you. Fuck you all.”

Laughter.

“Congratulations. You’re why we’re all still poor,” I go on.

“The magical Asian man from the future comes and wants to give you all money. And you’re like, ‘I don’t know about this guy. . . let me wait and see if someone else comes with a better offer. Maybe $2,000?’”

I had a tight five minutes about filming videos with Dave and saying “I’m Chris Tucker . . . and I’m Jackie Chan. It’s Rush Hour 4, America, the path to freedom!” and some other jokes about how Minions are racist, traveling to Asia with my kids and losing one of them at the mall, J.D. Vance and a migrant reality tv show, and Asian male stereotypes. I closed on how social media is killing us and how people getting together in real life to have a few laughs is the antidote. I ended with a few kind words and closed with an “O – H?”

“I – O!” The crowd responded. It’s an easy way to wrap a speech in Ohio, and also works for a comedy crowd.

One of the joys of Dave’s shows is that no one has a phone. He is very scrupulous about that. It makes it a lot easier to say what you want and push a boundary. He’s famously not on social media himself, yet he still sells out arenas around the world.

When I got off the stage, Dave said, “Man, that was actual comedy! Have you been practicing?”

“A little bit,” I said, which was the truth. I’d been on hundreds of stages in front of people in all sorts of contexts, but on maybe half-a-dozen comedy stages up to then.

The other comedians backstage welcomed me back warmly. One of them said, “What are you doing our job for? It’s not like I’m running for President!”

“Maybe you should,” I said. “It wouldn’t be any worse than what we have right now.”

He laughed and replied, “For sure, for sure, maybe I should, maybe I should.”

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As you can tell, the book is a bit different for me. I hope you check it out and pick up a copy! Here is a link to pre-order – use code UBIUBI for 25% off. I’ll be heading on a book tour in February so keep an eye out for that.

I discuss the book and Zohran with Zach on the podcast. Offline is coming to Boston, Baltimore and NYC upcoming! Email matt@noblemobile.com if you want a few months off from your wireless bill and want to be rewarded with Noble Mobile. Remember to look up.